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Why some couples get along better than others

posted Nov 9, 2010, 11:16 AM by Bruce Cowper-Smith
Have you ever wondered why some couples get along better than others?  If you watch Hollywood movies, you may think its just a matter of finding that one special person out there  that you will fall in love with and everything will turn out great.  But in real life, that seldom seems to happen.  So when it does  happen, we really should wonder how.  Fortunately, some research has been done in this area.  And the results aren't surprising.  There are probably three main reasons why some couples get along better.  First, some personalities and temperments are more compatible.  Some peoples ways of communicating, ways of resolving conflicts, and expectations for how relationships will work, are a good fit.  This means when a good fit happens there are less major differences needing to be worked out.  And that means more of the time together is positive.  Second, some people have better relationship skills.  When two people with good relationship skills get together its like two people who are really good dancers.  They seem to move effortlessly to the music.  They are coordinated in so many ways its almost beautiful to watch.  Third, some individuals begin their marriages with less emotional wounds and as a result are at a higher level of maturity.  Such couples come together with less "baggage".  This means there are less sensitive issues and less dysfunctional thinking and behaving that can get in the way.  It may be that easy relationships aren't so much what people have created, but what they were fortunate to be given.  So, for the rest of us, we will just need to work at it!